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Relationships & the Doshas

Did you know that the Ayurvedic doshas (Vata, Pitta & Kapha) also affect your love relationships? Whether your dating style is adventurous like a Vata, passionate like a Pitta, or loving like a Kapha, learn how to win each dosha’s heart and which are the best plans for a date.

According to Ayurveda, the three doshas or primary energies that compone the universe (Vata, Pitta, and Kapha), affect everything that surrounds us. And this also includes our approach to dating and the way we behave in our relationships (whether they are romantic or not).

Being a Vata (air + space) a Pitta (fire + water), or a Kapha (earth + water) will determine your personality and, hence, what you look for and value the most in a partner.

Keep reading if you want to learn:  

- How each dosha behaves in romantic relationships. 

- The best things you can do for a date. 

- Simple tips that will make your partner adore you. 

But before we dive in, make sure that you know yours and your partner’s Ayurvedic dosha. You can find them out here.

Vata: The Adventurous

Vata personalities are active, creative, changeable, imaginative, sensitive, and talkative.

Their main element is air and, as such, you never know in which direction is going to blow. Vatas are a bit extreme, and they can be either very high or very low.

Vata folks love beginnings. Therefore, to keep them happy and engaged, it’s essential to make things funny and exciting, so they don’t get bored and switch to someone else.

Feed them yummy food (extra points if it's Vata pacifying!), explore new places, improvise, and try new things.

However, make sure you also give them lots of time to rest.

Vatas have a low stamina, and their energy goes with the ebbs and flows. So even if they don’t want to, they need to rest and recharge to prevent over-exhaustion.

Be very sweet and gentle with your Vata boo, since they are extremely sensitive beings, and tend to blame themselves for whatever happens. Compliment them on how good they look, and the things you love about them.

Patience is crucial with Vatas since they would probably be late most of the times, they will make last-minute changes, and even forget you were meeting. Don’t tell them off, and never shout to them.

Vata personalities are a bit unconfident and prone to anxiety, so they always look for support (especially from their partners). Allow them to talk freely, and always listen actively to everything they have to say.

They appreciate a loyal, sweet, trustworthy, reliable partner, who provides some grounding and direction to the relationship. Nonetheless, they also need lots of freedom and space, so if you try to push or control a Vata, they’ll walk away.

In any case, when they finally trust you and open up, they are the most adorable, funny, witty and adventurous partners. You’ll never get bored around a Vata!

Best Plans

  • Having a (non-alcoholic) drink in the coolest rooftop or sky bar of the city (Vatas love heights because they feel more connected to their elements, space and air). 

  • Going to an exotic restaurant. 

  • Travelling, especially if it’s a spontaneous trip. 

  • Visiting a new exhibition, art gallery, or fashion show. 

  • Going to a concert of an artist they like. 

  • Dancing. 

  • Attending to a creative writing or poetry workshop. 

  • Going to a spiritual retreat or yoga class. 

  • Staring at the stars while talking about the meaning of life. 

Keep in Mind

Avoid outdoor plans when it’s cold or windy because it’ll take them out of balance, making them feel restless and uneasy. 

Places with loud noises or strong lights aren’t a good idea either since Vata types are very susceptible to their environment. 

How to Win Their Heart

Write them a poem or a song, praise them, surprise them with a last-minute date or trip, or take them out for some exotic food. Vatas love music, so if you can play an instrument or sing for them, they’ll cherish you.  

Pitta: The Passionate

The main element of Pitta is fire, so they are hot-tempered, competitive, focused, charismatic, and passionate.

When they love, they give it all, but they’re also very analytical and critical, which makes it difficult for them to find the “right” person that checks all boxes of their list.

Pitta types are the ones that will question the status of the relationship and will give it a direction.

For them, everything is about the following step, that “where are we going next?”.

As Pittas are driven and ambitious, they don’t like fickle, lazy, or complacent people who settle or don’t have any goals in their life.

If you are dating a Pitta, allow he or she to take the lead and choose plans, and praise them for how good they are at doing it (they always look for recognition).

Clear communication is crucial so they can feel safe and let go of the need to control everything. Be sure to schedule dates in advance since improvising is not their thing.

Pittas dislike being constantly changing of ideas and losing time. If you can't show up, you better notice them in advance, so they can reschedule and invest this time in doing another one of the million things on their list.

Pitta personalities love fighting and will try to prove they're right even if it's the last thing they do. Therefore it's better to avoid confrontations, although they love a good debate and an intellectual conversation.

Best Plans

  • Taking them to a sports show. 

  • Going on a hike. 

  • Playing sports and games in which they can compete. 

  • Visiting an amusement park. 

  • Skydiving or scuba-diving. 

  • Doing anything that can give them an adrenaline rush. 

  • Being in nature (camping, fishing, swimming in the ocean, etc.). 

Keep in Mind

Avoid outdoor plans when it’s hot or the sun is too high because that will throw them out of balance, making them feel very irritable. 

Due to their strong metabolism, Pittas become cranky when they’re hungry. So make sure you bring snacks with you (especially sweet, cooling ones, like fruit), or meet somewhere you can grab food to soothe their fiery appetite. 

How to Win Their Heart

Avoid simple dates and meaningless walks since they will feel like they are losing their time. 

Pittas love luxuries and high-quality things, so check out which are the best restaurants, cafes, etc. in the city before you take them out. And if you let them choose, they’ll love you even more.  

Kapha: The Loving

Kapha types are faithful, calm, easy-going, trustworthy, sweet, and grounded like the earth (their predominant element). They like comfort, good food, and physical touch such as cuddles, massages, and hugs.

Kaphas are very good listeners. They will pamper their partners, and give them lots of quality time.

However, it’s good for them to get some stimulation. Otherwise, they become lazy and end up laying in the couch doing nothing.

They long for love, affection, and validation. Kapha personalities like helping others, and always being there for those they love.

The shadow side of this is that they can become needy and people pleasers.

If Kaphas fall into the trap of codependency, they start doing things just because they want their partners to need them.

Hence, they end up manipulating their loved ones, making them feel guilty for not showing up as they would like to and feeling resentful for always being the caretaker.

The key is to put their own needs first and make sure their cup is full before helping anyone else. By doing so, they make sure they’re doing things from the heart, and not as a way of loving themselves through others.

A good thing to balance Kaphas is to take them out of their routine and comfort zone. Nonetheless, be patient with them because they do things at a slower pace. Do not rush or go too fast, or they'll become a grumpy bear.

Best Plans

  • Cooking (and especially baking sweets).

  • Cuddling under the blanket.

  • Watching Netflix. 

  • Going to a cozy coffee shop. 

  • Taking them to their favorite restaurant for some comfort food.